xanax

Days drag on
    nothing has a point
    I'm hardly brought joy

My art no longer gives me pride

Words no longer flow from my mind
    like water from a spring

All the things that once made me smile
    no longer ease this ache in my chest

I'm told that I'll grow out of it
I'm told that time will heal my wounds
    (it only lessens the pain
        the ache never goes away)

"Sometimes you just need to cry"

I'm told to let it all out
    If I let it all out,
        the tears would never cease
I want to scream
because it hurts so much

I need to feel real again
    To enjoy sensations
        smoke in my lungs
        wind in my hair
        the softness of skin

I feel like nothing
nothing but a weak pile of flesh and bone
nothing but a waste of space
I torture myself
    by thinking about what was lost

I look in the mirror
    and hate what I've become
        this sad creature
        with eyes of sorrow
        and thick hair that covers her face