What am I even doing.

Thin
Just right
Like the edge of a razor
Sharp
Gleaming
Dripping rubies
You make me smile
At least for now
That's how it'll be
The future is not mine to see
Another hit
Another slap
Another smoke-torn lung
Black
And filled with the tar of youth
Eyes like lanterns
Looks are deceiving;
I'll never light the way
Cursed to wander
In eternal darkness
Will I ever come home?
I don't think so.